Finally on the date with that really nice person you’ve been hoping to spend some time with? Do you ask for a table for three cause your insecurities are surely gonna need a seat at the table? Or, can you actually leave them at home?
We all have them, don’t we? Do you know anyone that doesn’t have something, maybe just one thing, that they are hyper focused on? Maybe it’s: you feel a lil bit (or a lot) chubby, maybe you have bad acne, maybe that acne finally went away and now there’s the scars as evidence of the struggle you just survived. Maybe you have stretchmarks or certain things are less perky than they used to be because of the beautiful children your body supported for you. They are out there and we’re very aware.
But hey…..that someone asked us on a date. Maybe they don’t care? Maybe it’s that one outfit I have that is like a cloaking device for all my fat, but I can’t wear that on every date, or can I? Eventually they’ll see my flaws.
I have struggled with most of these issues. Not wanting to take off make up because I had adult acne, but also not wanting to get makeup on the pillow case. Sigh!
These jeans make my @$$ look so great, but if he hugs me he’ll surely feel my muffin top. Argh!
Insert any insecurity….you know the internal dialogue.
As I’ve previously mentioned, I’ve spent a bit of this year stuck at home trying to heal from my injuries. My nutrition hasn’t been spot on and my exercise has been completely off a few times during the healing process.
With that in mind, I got asked on a date with a really nice guy. I didn’t even let myself think about what I was going to wear until the morning of the date. Can you even imagine? I had to work that day and we were meeting up afterward. I did it, I threw together something casual and cute and it hid my fluffy figure.
If you’re on a date with the right person, I would say that all these concerns should melt away on the date. I mean really, do they care about the stuff we’re freaking out about and if they are, is this the person we want to date?
Take heart, a great date can happen in spite of all these fears. I won’t say that when you’re alone with your thoughts that you won’t pick right back up at overthinking it, but put a positive spin on it. Wow, that was a great date. I am going to continue my quest for a healthier self and I’m doing that for myself. Yes, possibly I’ll feel even better about myself on the next date, but that’s for me and not because of him. A side effect might be that he notices your new confidence, well that’s a nice perk. I don’t know what kind of person you are, but I am wanting some adventures in my life. So getting healed and being healthy (not gasping for air when I hike some or have to run between airport terminals) is the goal. I don’t think wanting to lose weight is a negative. I know where I feel comfortable. Now…. I’m not comfortable sharing my actual weight for starters…lol, but here’s what I’m talking about.
5—————-10——————-15—————-20
This 5 is where I feel really healthy and good and enjoyed for about 9 years,
this 10 is that number I try to never pass on the scale,
the 15 is where I’ve been for about 1.5 years and it’s where climbing stairs noticeably leaves me winded, etc,
the 20 is where I am now.
To me, these are numbers that reflect how healthy and capable I am. Jeans can always be purchased in a bigger size, but these are my gauge to how well I feel and how confident I’ll feel about going out, living my life and trying new things.
Some people seem to be able to have all of these abilities no matter what size they are. My brother pointed out a mountain bike rider that is heavier than most the extremely lean riders and she’s bad@$$. She trained her body to be capable and it’s comfortable doing everything it does at her current weight. I would legit be happy with that if I felt good. I just know that I don’t actually feel good, almost unwell, to quote Matchbox 20.
I plan to do more of the fun stuff, bicycling instead of Peloton, hikes or walks instead of treadmill and maybe during the fun I actually get some exercise along the way.
Dating, to finish out this thought. Yes there’s supposed to be a second date. No, I haven’t worn that one outfit that makes me look super cute, yet. I’ll have to post a follow up to the dating saga. It reminds me we’re all human. What is he secretly worried about on our dates? There’s something we saw in each other that got us on this date in the first place. I love a great smile and a good laugh, he had both and one dimple that appeared when he smiled a giant authentic smile. What wonderful thing is he noticing about you? Keep it positive beautiful.
Till next time,
Happy and Healthy Thoughts
I Think I Can?
I Think I Can? 